is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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