brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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