you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
