She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
