I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
