Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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