I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
