i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
