She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
