I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
