Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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