she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
