All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
