Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
