He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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