You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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