My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
