He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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