Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
