$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
