My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
