So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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