i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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