fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
