Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
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