i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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