my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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