how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
