Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
