I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
