Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
