hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
