She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
