You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
