One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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