Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
