dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
