his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
