I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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