So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
