so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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