oh god the rape fog is back!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
