Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
