He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
