I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
