I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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