why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
