STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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