i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
