I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
