Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I DEMAND FORESKIN
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
