That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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