i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
