plz talk dirty to me
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
